As the Fish

I read Psalms 139. I think I am forever going to label it the "gutting" chapter. You know when you gut a fish, you fillet it right down the middle. Everything is opened for your eyes to see. While guts are flowing everywhere, you got to get your fingers down inside to pull all the nastiness out. No need for discretion. All the parts of the fish are in plain view. The fish is lying unmoving in your hands while you collect the parts you need and then throwaway all the nasty stuff that you cannot be used. Again, yes, this is “the gutting chapter”. I am a fish, being fillet by the hands of the Almighty God.

“O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.”

When reading this chapter I feel like I have been seared opened and turned inside out. Not in a bad way though, for I am in the Master's hands. He is there to rid of all the unusable and gather the little good. Whether I like it or not, my whole life is exposed. “Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising…” The good and the bad. Wonderful, and revolting. There is nothing hid from the eyes of my Saviour. How often do I forget that I am as transparent as a piece of Saran wrap to Him? I do not mean I do things "in secret" but I need to realize that whatever I do, I am doing it in His plain view. At this moment, He is right here. Around me. Within me. He knows what Vanessa is made of. He knows my thoughts...a far off.... He KNOWS them. It is sort of creepy. I get the chills knowing that I am naked before a Perfect, Holy God. What sin I do. He sees. Without modesty, what attitude I portray, it is exposed. Like a fish, ( i guess like a fish) I know I have an "inside" but I have never REALLY seen my insides, like God has. Oh, I can sorta guess what my heart looks like, but GOD has front view seating. He knows EXACTLY what it looks like. Not a general image we see on Discovery Health...or what our minds can comprehend in Sunday School. He sees it all. I think it is a good thing to remember I am naked before God. It is really an amazing thought when one thinks of it. Think how vulnerable the new bride feels on her wedding night. She is nervous but excited to give herself to someone she loves deeply. Now put in comparison what it is to be spiritually bare before someone who is Omnipotent, Omniscient, and Omnipresent!

He is Awesome!

I am Nothing.

The Insanity of Sin

This last week my church had its special Fall revival services. The services were absolutely amazing, and they spoke to my heart in many undeserving ways, and yet, the Lord is still speaking to me about what I have been taught. This past week, the messages were pointed, sharp, and direct to both the saved and lost. All who truly listened could not walk away untouched by the Sword of the Gospel. Unfortunately, many did, and their reaction burdens my heart still. There were a few on my heart this last week that I prayed desperately for, concerning their need of salvation. Yet, night after night, they refused the call to repentance. Disappointed, yes. Discouraged, no. The Word of the Lord does not return void, but I know the time is closing in when the Holy Spirit will say “no” to for the last time.

During one of the invitations, Pastor reminded the congregation of a phrase that our special speaker had been using often. We had just finished listening to a very convicting message over Psalm 1, contrasting of how “the ungodly are not so.” The message reminded of how the ungodly are not prosperous (they are like the chaff) and how they are denied from eternal life. The passion in which the sermon preached made me praise the Lord in how I am unworthily accepted by Him, for the sermon pointed out who God is, and who we are. Unfortunately, not a lost person went forward during the invitation. And during that time, Pastor reminded us all of why no one was saved. It was because of “the insanity of sin”.

It is true, isn’t it? Just like the demonic of Gadara, sin causes insanity (Mark 5:1-20). Our country is killing babies and satisfying every lust conceivable without any care of its consequences. Why? Because of the insanity of sin. And yet, such blatant sin against God is happening right in our churches. People would rather burn in a lake of fire for all of eternity than humbly bow their knee before God and accept His salvation. Someone in my church service every Sunday and Wednesday is refusing God because they would rather enjoy their sin for a season. How blinding sin is!

So, now when I see sin in my life, I try to remember what sin does and how it keeps me from the One who loves me. Sin in my life is nothing to "blow over". During invitation time at church, I am reminded of, and burden for those who insanely chose to ignore the Gift. Oh, how Satan rejoices at those times, but I know that my God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. (II Peter 3:9)

My first blog post!

Pretty interesting that I have to do a blog for a college class. Actually, I think it is pretty cool. I have always wanted to start a blog. Not for a "self-focused" reason, but for other, more important reasons.

It can first be noted that my blog is titled "He Restoreth My Soul". Who is that "He"? He is the one that saved me! And now, as a child of the Almighty King, I am able to have a relationship with Him that I never had when living the selfish life of sin.

What are the goals do I have for this new blog if I decide to keep it maintained?
(1) To serve the Lord by encouraging others. And...
(2) to increase my writing skills with practice.
(something, I admit, I have a hard time doing).

So, without further ado.... Let the blogging begin!