As the Fish

I read Psalms 139. I think I am forever going to label it the "gutting" chapter. You know when you gut a fish, you fillet it right down the middle. Everything is opened for your eyes to see. While guts are flowing everywhere, you got to get your fingers down inside to pull all the nastiness out. No need for discretion. All the parts of the fish are in plain view. The fish is lying unmoving in your hands while you collect the parts you need and then throwaway all the nasty stuff that you cannot be used. Again, yes, this is “the gutting chapter”. I am a fish, being fillet by the hands of the Almighty God.

“O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.”

When reading this chapter I feel like I have been seared opened and turned inside out. Not in a bad way though, for I am in the Master's hands. He is there to rid of all the unusable and gather the little good. Whether I like it or not, my whole life is exposed. “Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising…” The good and the bad. Wonderful, and revolting. There is nothing hid from the eyes of my Saviour. How often do I forget that I am as transparent as a piece of Saran wrap to Him? I do not mean I do things "in secret" but I need to realize that whatever I do, I am doing it in His plain view. At this moment, He is right here. Around me. Within me. He knows what Vanessa is made of. He knows my thoughts...a far off.... He KNOWS them. It is sort of creepy. I get the chills knowing that I am naked before a Perfect, Holy God. What sin I do. He sees. Without modesty, what attitude I portray, it is exposed. Like a fish, ( i guess like a fish) I know I have an "inside" but I have never REALLY seen my insides, like God has. Oh, I can sorta guess what my heart looks like, but GOD has front view seating. He knows EXACTLY what it looks like. Not a general image we see on Discovery Health...or what our minds can comprehend in Sunday School. He sees it all. I think it is a good thing to remember I am naked before God. It is really an amazing thought when one thinks of it. Think how vulnerable the new bride feels on her wedding night. She is nervous but excited to give herself to someone she loves deeply. Now put in comparison what it is to be spiritually bare before someone who is Omnipotent, Omniscient, and Omnipresent!

He is Awesome!

I am Nothing.